Women truly are better than men. Otherwise, they'd be intolerable.

Mayonnaise, like hollandaise, was invented by the French to cover up the flavor of spoiled flesh, stale vegetables, rotten fish. Beware the sauce! Where food comes beslobbered with an elegant slime you may well suspect the integrity of the basic ingredients.

In the first place you can't see anything from a car; you've got to get out of the goddamned contraption and walk, better yet crawl, on hands and knees, over the sandstone and through the thornbush and cactus. When traces of blood begin to mark your trail you'll begin to see something, maybe. Probably not.

I always write with my .357 magnum handy. Why? Well, you never know when God may try to interfere.

Good writing can be defined as having something to say and saying it well. When one has nothing to say, one should remain silent. Silence is always beautiful at such times.

Everyone should learn a manual trade: It's never too late to become an honest person.

Be loyal to what you love, be true to the earth, fight your enemies with passion and laughter.