Respectability is the dickey on the bosom of civilization.
Dignity is a mask we wear to hide our ignorance.
Genius is the capacity of avoiding hard work.
Prosperity: that condition which attracts the lively interest of lawyers, and warrants your being sued for damages, or indicted, or both.
Laughter is higher than all pain.
The fool is not the man who merely does foolish things. The fool is the man who does not know enough to cash in on his foolishness.