I wanted to experience both. I wanted worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence. I wanted what the Greeks called kalos kai agathos, the singular balance of the good and the beautiful. I'd been missing both during these last hard years, because both pleasure and devotion require a stress-free space in which to flourish and I'd been living in a giant trash compactor of nonstop anxiety. As for how to balance the urge for pleasure against the longing for devotion...well, surely there was a way to learn that trick.

What do I believe that I deserve in this life?

We don't realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.

Just as there exists in writing a literal truth and a poetic truth, there also exists in a human being a literal anatomy and a poetic anatomy. One, you can see; one, you cannot. One is made of bones and teeth and flesh; the other is made of energy and memory and faith. But they are both equally true.

One must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation.

I think I deserve something beautiful.

Maybe the difference between first marriage and second marriage is that the second time at least you know you are gambling.