Because trying to see all sides, such an instinct is particularly Jewish.

But day after day of depression, the kind that doesn’t seem to merit carting me off to a hospital but allows me to sit here on this stoop in summer camp as if I were normal, day after day wearing down everybody who gets near me. My behavior seems, somehow, not acute enough for them to know what to do with me, though I’m just enough of a mess to be driving everyone around me crazy.

I was so scared to give up depression, fearing that somehow the worst part of me was actually all of me.

I need the thing that happens when your brain shuts off and your heart turns on.

Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?... I don't know the answer, I know only that I can't.

And I want out of this life on drugs.

That's what it's like in my head all the time, constant snow, constant weather patterns of all sorts - blizzards, cyclones.