That's what it's like in my head all the time, constant snow, constant weather patterns of all sorts - blizzards, cyclones.
Elizabeth WurtzelBut day after day of depression, the kind that doesnโt seem to merit carting me off to a hospital but allows me to sit here on this stoop in summer camp as if I were normal, day after day wearing down everybody who gets near me. My behavior seems, somehow, not acute enough for them to know what to do with me, though Iโm just enough of a mess to be driving everyone around me crazy.
Elizabeth WurtzelAs soon as I was out in the street, I realized I didn't want to be alone after all, I realized I didn't want to be anything at all.
Elizabeth WurtzelAnd what I thought, every time I thought about my father, every time his name came up, was quite simply: I WANT TO KILL YOU. I wanted to be more mature, more reasonable, I wanted to have a big, fat, forgiving heart that could contain all this rage and still find room for kind, beneficent love, but I didn't have it in me. I just didn't.
Elizabeth Wurtzel