It's being a grown up, which I never figured out how to do, scrubbing the tub, and remembering to eat and shampoo my hair. It's the basics: I can write a whole book, but I cannot handle the basics.
Elizabeth WurtzelJesus, I wondered, what do you do with pain so bad it has no redeeming value? It cannot even be alchemized into art, into words, into something you can chalk up to an interesting experience because the pain itself, its intensity, is so great that it has woven itself into your system so deeply that there is no way to objectify or push it outside or find its beauty within. That is the pain Iโm feeling now. Its so bad, its useless. The only lesson I will ever derive from this pain is how bad pain can be.
Elizabeth WurtzelAs soon as I was out in the street, I realized I didn't want to be alone after all, I realized I didn't want to be anything at all.
Elizabeth WurtzelYouโre going to leave me, arenโt you? โฆ Youโve had enough of me, havenโt you? Youโre probably so tired of all this crying and all these moods, and Iโve got to tell you, so am I. So am I. Sometimes it seems like my mind has a mind of its own, like I just get hysterical, like itโs something I canโt control at all. And I donโt know what to do, and I feel so sorry for you because you donโt know what to do either. And Iโm sure youโre going to leave me now.
Elizabeth WurtzelDepression is all about if you loved me you would. As in, if you loved me you would stop doing your schoolwork, stop going out drinking with your friends on a Saturday night, stop accepting starring roles in theater productions, and stop doing everything besides sitting here by my side and passing me Kleenex and aspirin while I lie and creak and cry and drown myself and you in my misery.
Elizabeth Wurtzel