I know I can do so much more than this, I know that I could be a life force, could love with a heart full of soul, could feel with the power that flies men to the moon. I know that if I could just get out from under this depression, there is so much I could do besides cry in front of the TV on a Saturday night.
Elizabeth WurtzelDepression is all about if you loved me you would. As in, if you loved me you would stop doing your schoolwork, stop going out drinking with your friends on a Saturday night, stop accepting starring roles in theater productions, and stop doing everything besides sitting here by my side and passing me Kleenex and aspirin while I lie and creak and cry and drown myself and you in my misery.
Elizabeth WurtzelIf you take someone's thoughts and feelings away, bit by bit, consistantly, they then have nothing left except some gritty, gnawing, shitty little instinct, down there, somewhere, worming around in the gut, but so far down, so hidden, it's impossible to find.
Elizabeth WurtzelYouโre going to leave me, arenโt you? โฆ Youโve had enough of me, havenโt you? Youโre probably so tired of all this crying and all these moods, and Iโve got to tell you, so am I. So am I. Sometimes it seems like my mind has a mind of its own, like I just get hysterical, like itโs something I canโt control at all. And I donโt know what to do, and I feel so sorry for you because you donโt know what to do either. And Iโm sure youโre going to leave me now.
Elizabeth WurtzelNothing in my life ever seemed to fade away or take its rightful place among the pantheon of experiences that constituted my eighteen years. It was all still with me, the storage space in my brain crammed with vivid memories, packed and piled like photographs and old dresses in my grandmotherโs bureau. I wasnโt just the madwoman in the attic โ I was the attic itself. The past was all over me, all under me, all inside me.
Elizabeth Wurtzel