As far back as I remember, long before I could write, I had played at making stories. But not until I was seven or more, did I begin to pray every night, "O God, let me write books! Please, God, let me write books!"

First, I was an idealist (that was early - fools are born, not made, you know); next I was a realist; now I am a pessimist, and, by Jove! if things get much worse I'll become a humorist.

Life has taught me that the greatest tragedy is not to die too soon but to live too long.

But, of course only morons would ever think or speak of themselves as intellectuals. That's why they all look so sad.

The hardest thing to believe when you're young is that people will fight to stay in a rut, but not to get out of one.

Dignity is an anachronism.

The government's like a mule, it's slow and it's sure; it's slow to turn, and it's sure to turn the way you don't want it.