English tradition debars from dinner-table conversation almost all topics that might interest the conversers and insists upon strict adherence to banalities.

The Beatties were always arguing, it gave them an interest in life.

You cannot sell a blemished apple in the supermarket, but you can sell a tasteless one provided it is shiny, smooth, even, uniform and bright.

One of the stock Sydney jokes is of the census-taker who enquires: 'How many children have you, ma'am?' 'Two living and three in Melbourne.'

Dogs may be divided into two classes: those who are merely afraid of cattle and those who can't abide them.

Africa is cruel...it takes your heart and grinds it into powdered stone - and no-one minds

The great point about money was to convert it as quickly as possible into something you could use or enjoy.