My head spins as I glance away, refusing to get sucked back into his gaze when so much is at risk.
Emily GiffinThe feeling I have reminds me of New Yearโs Eve, when the countdown is coming and Iโm not quite sure whether to grab my camera or just live in the moment. Usually I grab the camera and later regret it when the picture doesnโt turn out. Then I feel enormously let down and think to myself that the night would have been more fun if it didnโt mean quite so much, if I werenโt forced to analyze where Iโve been and where Iโm going.
Emily GiffinI love him wholly and unconditionally and without reservation. I love him enough to sacrifice a friendship. I love him enough to accept my own happiness and use it, in turn, to make him happy back.
Emily GiffinAnxiety was not an emotion I could ever remember feeling when I went out in New York, and I wondered why tonight felt so different. Maybe it was because I no longer had a boyfriend or fiance. I suddenly recognized that there was safety in having someone, as well as a lack of pressure to shine. Ironically, this had cultivated a certain free-spiritedness that had, in turn, allowed me to be the life of the party and hoard the affection of additional men....But that had all changed. I didn't have a boyfriend, a perfect figure, or alcohol-induced outrageousness to fall back on.
Emily GiffinI nod, thinking of how difficult marriage can be, how much effort is required to sustain a feeling between two people - a feeling that you can't imagine will ever fade in the beginning when everything comes so easily. I think of how each person in a marriage owes it to the other to find individual happiness, even in a shared life. That is the only real way to grow together, instead of apart.
Emily Giffin