And who understands? Not me, because if I did I would forgive it all.

This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let's go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.

What a writer has to do is write what hasn't been written before or beat dead men at what they have done.

Writing is a hard business...but nothing makes you feel better.

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

You know lots of criticism is written by characters who are very academic and think it is a sign you are worthless if you make jokes or kid or even clown. I wouldn't kid Our Lord if he was on the cross. But I would attempt a joke with him if I ran into him chasing the money changers out of the temple.

It wasn't by accident that the Gettysburg address was so short. The laws of prose writing are as immutable as those of flight, of mathematics, of physics.