When loved ones die, people always say, “Don't be sad. I'm sure they would have wanted you to be happy.” I'm sure that's true. But let's be realistic here, people also want to be missed. It is every person's nightmare to leave the world behind as if they had never been there at all.
Saying you love someone is a good thing.
Just be happy, and if you can't be happy, do things that make you happy. Or do nothing with the people that make you happy.