The great charm in argument is really finding one's own opinions, not other people's.

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them...

One has to regard a man as a Master who can produce on average three uniquely brilliant and entirely original similes to every page.

I did not know it was possible to be so miserable and live but I am told that this is a common experience.

I have a good mind not to take Aloysius to Venice. I don't want him to meet a lot of horrid Italian bears and pick up bad habits.

...its a rather pleasant change when all your life you've had people looking after you, to have someone to look after yourself. Only of course it has to be someone pretty hopeless to need looking after by me.

Evelyn Waugh: How do you get your main pleasure in life, Sir William? Sir William Beveridge: I get mine trying to leave the world a better place than I found it. Waugh: I get mine spreading alarm and despondency and I get more satisfaction than you do.