The human mind is inspired enough when it comes to inventing horrors; it is when it tries to invent a Heaven that it shows itself cloddish.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

We class schools into four grades: leading school, first-rate school, good school and school.

Of children as of procreation -- the pleasure momentary, the posture ridiculous, the expense damnable

I think there's almost nothing I can't excuse except perhaps worshiping graven images. That seems to be idiotic.

If a thing's worth doing at all, it's worth doing well.

Money is only useful when you get rid of it. It is like the odd card in 'Old Maid'; the player who is finally left with it has lost.