My mind goes to tragedy first.

Five years from now I'm probably going to look back on the things I'm doing and cringe.

I volunteered at UCLA's occupational therapy ward, where there are lots of kids with autism and emotional problems. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could not break down and cry at everything, and that I could just help somebody else. The one thing I really remember was that when we would take them out of the hospital for a walk around campus, they would freak out the most when we were waiting for the elevator. I remember the guy at the elevator said to himself, "Transitions are the hardest." And I said to myself, "Transitions are always the hardest."

When you're famous weird things will happen that end up hurting your feelings. I'll get a letter from somebody I knew a while ago and I'll be really touched. Then I'll turn over the envelope and their business card falls out.

And if I'm being honest, I don't think I have an ex-boyfriend who would have something mean to say about me.

It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion.

At my lowest moments, I think of people who come to shows. I still get very sad and sometimes I feel like I have no friends, but when that happens now, I'll think of people whose names or faces I don't know - they're my friends and they love me. I've got them. It really does save me. I still feel awkward, but that's the one thing I can grab onto at my lowest points.