It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Our forefathers made one mistake. What they should have fought for was representation without taxation.

Never give up. For fifty years they said the horse was through. Now look at him - a status symbol.

To start with, there's the alien accent. "Tree" is the number between two and four. "Jeintz" is the name of the New York professional football team. A "fit" is a bottle measuring seven ounces less than a quart. This exotic tongue has no relationship to any of the approved languages at the United Nations, and is only slightly less difficult to master than Urdu.

A decision is what a man makes when he can't find anybody to serve on a committee.

Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you've found a man about to make a difficult putt.

No other city in the U.S. can divest the visitor of so much money with so little enthusiasm. In Dallas, they take away with gusto; in New Orleans, with a bow; in San Francisco, with a wink and a grin. In New York, you're lucky if you get a grunt.