Tips for aspiring writers: don't be afraid of writing rubbish. It's very easy to become hypnotised by an empty page or screen. It's tempting to abandon a half-finished work because you can't make it perfect. I hereby give you permission to write things that aren't perfect, make mistakes, try things that don't work, experiment with styles you're not used to and generally throw words around. You'll learn much faster that way.

My dear fellow," he continued more soberly, "If you have managed to complicate things by forming a sentimental attachment in less than a week, then I doubt there is anything I can do for you. You, sir, are a romantic, and I suspect your condition is incurable.

Perhaps illnesses could be left behind, just like small, badly concealed china corpses.

We always find it difficult to forgive our heroes for being human.

Well, you will have to do. If you had died along with your mother, I would have taught the cat to read.

It did seem hard to be doing something heroic while everyone was too busy to notice.

You, sir, are a romantic, and I'm afraid the condition is incurable. -Eponymous Clent