I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

You better get busy living, because dying's a pain in the ass.

Don't get even, get mad.

Orange is the happiest color.

I'm supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I've flunked more often than not. I'm very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don't understand them.

Hell hath no fury like a hustler with a literary agent.

Fresh air makes me throw up. I can't handle it. I'd rather be around three Denobili cigars blowing in my face all night.