I show up because I’m an asshole, and I want to have a good time.

I hate Twitter. I think it's disgusting. It's ridiculous that you as a stranger can type something to me, and I see it. Technology has gone too far.

If they hadn’t tried to break me down, I wouldn’t know that I’m unbreakable.

To pray to this God or that God or this religion and that religion or no religion at all, that's the reason why we built America. And that is still very much what we do in this country unless you're brown.

I think you think that phone sex is about getting the caller off, but it's about keeping the caller on. It's about leading with your personality and making sure that they're still listening to you and that they're still interested in you because you cannot make money when they hang up.

I hate yoga so much. Like, if yoga was a person, I'd stab them.

I show up because I’m an asshole, and I want to have a good time.