You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart.

Five parts of my brain contain alien power, whatever I do or say cannot be denied on the intergalactic highway of existence.

Light is actually the first word I said as a little baby.

Theres a woman in Arkansas that's such a bad cook, that a swarm of flies got together and repaired her screen door.

Freedom is the freedom you choose, when you're not getting in your own way. The best way to start every day is to wake up and wash your face and look yourself in the mirror, right in the eyes of your reflection, and say, "don't get in my way." Because it's only when we get in our own way that we have to step back or step aside or step over here and not walk at all.

Enlightenment is the mind that is open to anything, but attached to nothing. That is freedom. No values, no resentment, no grudges. Not carrying the past along with you. Not carrying memories from the past that are hurtful and shameful and embarrassing. Just let all that go and you are living in enlightenment, and you are free for everything.

Never dip lower than you can dip.