Parenting changed for me when I finally realized it's not about being a perfect parent trying to raise perfect kids, but rather, family life is a collection of sinners slowly growing together toward Jesus Christ as we rub shoulders, yield to his grace, ask for forgiveness and offer forgiveness, and are shaped accordingly.

If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there’s no question—stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you’d never have to face otherwise.

Having children made me confront my true fears and trust in God many times over in a much more intensified manner.

More than we care about their "success," vocation, or financial status, our hearts will be encouraged when our kids are faithful followers of Christ, and our hearts will be distressed when our kids appear to reject the Christian faith. So, the most important thing is transferring our kids' allegiance from us to Christ, raising faithful disciples who seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.

A defeatist attitude kills almost as many marriages as do affairs.

Any mature, spiritually sensitive view of marriage must be built on the foundation of mature love rather than romanticism. But this immediately casts us into a countercultural pursuit.

Ideally, as parents we'd have unlimited energy, the ability to manage tricky emotions like fear and anger, vast stores of wisdom to answer complicated but important questions, love that never grows tired, patience that never ends... Every parent would like to have all of these, but God alone possesses them fully. Parenting reminded me of what I lacked more than it ever made me feel equipped. But there's a spiritual purpose in that!