One of the goals of analysis is you become your own analyst. You continue the process even if you're not in therapy, whether you continue the process by walking down the street thinking about things or whether you continue the process, as I do, by writing about them.

Before my first novel, I was dating a woman who later went to prison for bashing a guy with a hammer.

America should treasure its rare, true original voices and Mark Leyner is one of them. So treasure him already, you bastards!

You could drown a kitten in her blue eyes.

It is a capital insult in this country not to make love to a naked woman, even if she is related to you.

That's what I always liked about science fiction - you can make the world end. Humour is my multiple warhead delivery system.

The greatest books in Russian literature are satires. Gogol's Dead Souls, for example, is a very over-the-top satire about life in Russia. I think it's the thing we do best.