I read real books. On paper. You know, those printed books? I feel like this is the last thing I do to support my industry. I think they smell great, too.

Satire always benefits when evil and stupidity collide.

By reading this message you are denying its existence and implying consent.

She was clothed entirely in two large swatches of leather, the leather fake and shiny in a self-mocking way, absolutely correct for 1993, the first year when mocking the mainstream had become the mainstream.

In America, the distance between wanting something and having it delivered to your living room is not terribly great.

One should learn from a book. Books have a lot to teach us. They have a lot of empathy to impart to us, but they should also be fun. This stuff is fun! You shouldn't pick up a book and say, "Oh my god, I'm gonna better myself by reading this." You may better yourself by reading this, but who cares? Just have fun.

I was really not a good student, and I felt that shame every day. That's one of the reasons I started smoking pot and drinking daily.