It's like the piano and the cello are being poured into my body, the same way the IV and blood transfusions are. And the memories of my life as it was, and the flashes of it as it might be, are coming so fast and furious. I feel like I can no longer keep up with them but they keep coming and everything is colliding, until I cannot take anymore. Until I cannot be like this a second longer.
Gayle FormanAdam is crying and somewhere inside of me I am crying, too, because I'm feeling things at last. I'm feeling not just the physical pain, but all that I have lost, and it is profound and catastrophic and will leave a crater in me that nothing will ever fill.
Gayle FormanAre you coming down with something?" Mom asks. And just for the tiniest of seconds, I wonder what would happen if I told them the truth. That school is nothing like I imagined it would be. That I'm not the girl in the catalog at all. I'm not a Happy College Student. I don't know who I am. Or maybe I do know who I am and I just don't want to be her anymore.
Gayle FormanAnd then Adam Wilde shows up at Carnegie Hall on the biggest night of my career, and it felt like more than a coincidence. It felt like a gift. From them. For my first recital ever, they gave me a cello. And for this one, they gave me you.
Gayle FormanStanding here, in this quiet house where I can hear the birds chirping out back, I think Iโm kind of getting the concept of closure. Itโs no big dramatic before-after. Itโs more like that melancholy feeling you get at the end of a really good vacation. Something special is ending, and youโre sad, but you canโt be that sad because, hey, it was good while it lasted, and thereโll be other vacations, other good times.
Gayle Forman