I disagree with those who suggest that we permanently close down the U.S. mail on the grounds that it can kill you. That is sheer hysteria. I think we should permanently close down the U.S. mail on the grounds that it has been making us sick for quite a while.

I feel like no matter what happens in my career endeavors after today, going to grad school is one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Ever since roughly 1890, when snot poets first decided that rhyme was confining and unnecessary, every idiot with a pen fancied hisself a poet. The mere act of rhyming was suddenly regarded as a quaint, mannered, and uncool atavism, consigning doggerelists like me to the trash bin of literary history.

I believe that sensitivity to issues of race and ethnicity is important, and nuanced, even more so when it intersects with the issue of free speech.

I don't think the people of Chicago should be robbed of their birthright to be perennial losers.

One thing I am learning from the kitten is that everything he is doing seems to be in preparation for murder.

I think we too often go soft in trying to spare people the agony of confronting reality.