I have remarked very clearly that I am often of one opinion when I am lying down and of another when I am standing up.

We have to believe that everything has a cause, as the spider spins its web in order to catch flies. But it does this before it knows there are such things as flies.

The "second sight" possessed by the Highlanders in Scotland is actually a foreknowledge of future events. I believe they possess this gift because they don't wear trousers.

People who never have any time on their hands are those who do the least.

Every man has his moral backside which he refrains from showing unless he has to and keeps covered as long as possible with the trousers of decorum.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

There is a great difference between believing in something and believing in it again.