Concerts are dangerous because anything can happen - which is one of the joys as well.

When you love a teacher very much - as I did Olivier Messiaen - you do have to leave them.One of the things that separated me from Messiaen was my desire to create works with a big structure, a large symphonic sweep. His forms are wonderful, glorious mosaics, but again, I prefer narrative.

The London music world isn't a particularly cohesive place. And when I'm composing, I'm not very friendly. I need isolation.

It's not only that I want to get things right when I'm composing but that my imagination often gets lost, and then I have to wait until I come back to the path. I think there's an internal force that makes a piece logical from beginning to end; I like to tell stories in music that are unexpected but also logical.

I always say that I can help someone who can already compose, but if they can't, I can't help them. I can advise on technical issues, of course, like how low the piccolo can go, but otherwise what's important is not wisdom but enthusiasm.

When I lose direction, it becomes very hard to write. I actually get a physical pain, as if my subconscious knows better. That may sound mystical and pretentious, but it's true.

I began conducting when I was in school, around age 12, because I was writing little theater pieces and wanted to perform them. And then somehow I got started on it. I love doing it, but I have to ration myself very severely or I wouldn't get anything else done.