The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.

A man ought to be able to be fond of his wife without making a fool of himself about her.

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

Hell is a place where you have nothing to do but amuse yourself.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

My opportunities were still there, nay, they multiplied tenfold; but the strength and youth to cope with them began to fail, and to need eking out with the shifty cunning of experience.

Nobody can live in society without conventions. The reason why sensible people are as conventional as they can bear to be is that conventionality saves so much time and thought and trouble and social friction of one sort or another that it leaves them much more leisure time for freedom than unconventionality does.