Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.

It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.

The philosopher is Nature's pilot.

Money is the most important thing in the world. It represents health, strength, honor, generosity, and beauty as conspicuously as the want of it represents illness, weakness, disgrace, meanness, and ugliness.

I make a fortune from criticizing the policy of the government, and then hand it over to the government in taxes to keep it going.

Life is a disease; and the only difference between on man and another is the stage of the disease at which he lives.

Pothinus: "Is it possible that Caesar, the conqueror of the world, has time to occupy himself with such a trifle as our taxes?" Caesar: "My friend, taxes are the chief business of a conqueror of the world.