Fashions, after all, are only induced epidemics.

I was told that my diet was so poor that I could not repair the bones that were broken and operated on. So I have just had an Xradiograph taken; and lo! perfectly mended solid bone so beautifully white that I have left instructions that, if I die, a glove stretcher is to be made of me and sent to you as a souvenir

I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.

Words are only postage stamps delivering the object for you to unwrap

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

This is the true joy of life-the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown to the scrap-heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish clod of ailments and grievances.

I must ... warn my readers that my attacks are directed against themselves, not against my stage figures.