It is not pleasure that makes life worth living. It is life that makes pleasure worth having.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

The popular definition of tragedy is heavy drama in which everyone is killed in the last act, comedy being light drama in which everyone is married in the last act.

Perhaps you know some well-off families who do not seem to suffer from their riches. They do not overeat themselves; they find occupations to keep themselves in health; they do not worry about their position; they put their money into safe investments and are content with a low rate of interest; and they bring up their children to live simply and do useful work. But this means that they do not live like rich people at all, and might therefore just as well have ordinary incomes.

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

There is nothing on earth intended for innocent people so horrible as a school.