It is not pleasure that makes life worth living. It is life that makes pleasure worth having.

An index is a great leveller.

All autobiographies are lies. I do not mean unconscious, unintentional lies: I mean deliberate lies.

Man is the only animal which esteems itself rich in proportion to the number and voracity of its parasites.

There is nothing so bad or so good that you will not find Englishmen doing it; but you will never find an Englishman in the wrong. He does everything on principle. He fights you on patriotic principles; he robs you on business principles; he enslaves you on imperial principles; he bullies you on manly principles; he supports his king on loyal principles and cuts off his king's head on republican principles.

Trade unionism is not socialism. It is the capitalism of the proletariat.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.