I do not want to make my stomach a graveyard of dead animals.

There is nothing in religion but fiction.

Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness.

No king on earth is as safe in his job as a Trade Union official. There is only one thing that can get him sacked; and that is drink. Not even that, as long as he doesn't actually fall down.

The function of comedy is to dispelunconsciousness by turning the searchlight of the keenest moral and intellectual analysisright on to it.

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?

Only where there is pecuniary equality can the distinction of merit stand out.