Go on writing plays, my boy, One of these days one of these London producers will go into his office and say to his secretary, "Is there a play from Shaw this morning?" and when she says, "No," he will say, "Well, then we'll have to start on the rubbish." And that's your chance, my boy.

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable.

Imprisonment, as it exists today, is a worse crime than any of those committed by its victims.

The best way to get your point across is to entertain.

Treat persons who profess to be able to cure disease as you treat fortune tellers.

It's not that I'm so clever, it is that others are so stupid.