Any man who is not a communist at the age of twenty is a fool. Any man who is still a communist at the age of thirty is an even bigger fool.

Your heart and your mouth wil be in two separate parts of your body if you again forget in whose presence you stand.

At present, intelligent people do not have their children vaccinated, nor does the law now compel them to. The result is not, as the Jennerians prophesied, the extermination of the human race by smallpox; on the contrary more people are now killed by vaccination than by smallpox.

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not.

Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another.

Pothinus: "Is it possible that Caesar, the conqueror of the world, has time to occupy himself with such a trifle as our taxes?" Caesar: "My friend, taxes are the chief business of a conqueror of the world.

The universal regard for money is the one hopeful fact in our civilization.