Marriage is to me apostasy, profanation of the sanctuary of my soul, violation of my manhood, sale of my birthright, shameful surrender, ignominious capitulation, acceptance of defeat.

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

The philosopher is Nature's pilot. And there you have our difference: to be in hell is to drift: to be in heaven is to steer.

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled.

I lay my eternal curse on whomsoever shall now or at any time hereafter make schoolbooks of my works and make me hated as Shakespeare is hated. My plays were not designed as instruments of torture. All the schools that lust after them get this answer, and will never get any other.

It is a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as long as he can.

The educated man is a greater nuisance than the uneducated one.