Men get tired of everything, of heaven no less than of hell; and that all history is nothing but a record of the oscillations of the world between these two extremes. An epoch is but a swing of the pendulum; and each generation thinks the world is progressing because it is always moving.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

Religion is a great force - the only real motive force in the world; but what you fellows don't understand is that you must get at a man through his own religion and not through yours.

Take the utmost care to get well born and well brought up.

Poverty doesn't bring unhappiness; it brings degradation.

Don't waste time collecting other people's autographs; rather devote it to making your own autograph worth collecting.