Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.

It is in vain to hope to please all alike. Let a man stand with his face in what direction he will, he must necessarily turn his back on one half of the world.

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty saying are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.

Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine.

In New York City, the common bats fly only at twilight. Brick-bats fly at all hours.

Some men give as little light in the world as a farthing tallow candle, and when they expire, leave as bad an odor behind them.

Some people use half their ingenuity to get into debt, and the other half to avoid paying it.