I'm a pessimist, but I have many painstakingly applied coats of optimism.

I guess I'm drawn to religion because I can be provocative without harming something people really care about, like their cars.

I don't know what the universe is all about, but to me, nothing is gained by slapping a God sticker on it. It has never been a comfort to me to believe there's an all-seeing eye in the sky.

I have nothing but respect for the purist who won't work for the pharaoh. But I'm not that strong.

Life is challenging for everyone. If someone can believe that he's a sovereign in his tiny domain, it's just an adaptation to life.

I want to be tolerant of other people's beliefs. I have wonderful friends who are religious, and I don't want to say that they're dimwits. They should certainly be able to pursue what works for them. I'm just saying that it doesn't work for me and I don't want to pretend that it does.

Advertising is a conscienceless industry, populated by cowards and idiots, that warps and drains everyone. It eggs on the worst in all of us. If I could eliminate either advertising or nuclear weapons, I would choose advertising.