Humility is one of the most repulsive virtues, nearly always false.

Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow.

The English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour. They are only offended if you tell them that they have no sense of humour.

Travel' is the name of a modern disease which became rampant in themid-fifties and is still spreading. The disease - its scientific name is travelitis furiosus - is carried by a germ called prosperity.

They (Americans) have their national game, baseball - which is cricket played with a strong American accent - and they have a national language, entirely their own, unlike any other language spoken on the earth.

A couple from Sydney or Melbourne might leave on the same day for their holiday: the wife might go sun-bathing at Surfers Paradise, in Queensland, the husband ski-ing in the Snowy Mountains. A lucky country.

You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.