I think I exist,' he said wearily. 'I am conscious of my own identity. I was born, and I shall die. I have arms and legs. I occupy a particular point in space. No other solid object can occupy the same point simultaneously.

Football, a game in which everyone gets hurt and every nation has its own style of play which seems unfair to foreigners.

I had been in London innumerable times, and yet till that day I had never noticed one of the worst things about London-the fact that it costs money even to sit down.

Stupidity was as necessary as intelligence, and as difficult to attain.

If human equality is to be forever averted -- if the High, as we have called them, are to keep their places permanently -- then the prevailing mental condition must be controlled insanity.

As with the Christian religion, the worst advertisement for Socialism is its adherents.

And the bigger the fall, the bigger the joke. It would be better fun to throw a custard pie at a bishop than at a curate.