Chicago Cubs fans are ninety percent scar tissue.

The phrase 'domestic cat' is an oxymoron.

Mitt Romney's losing at this point in a big way. If something's going to come out, get it out in a hurry. I do not know why - given that Mr. Romney knew the day that [Sen. John] McCain lost in 2008 that he was going to run for president again - that he didn't get all of this out and tidy up some of his offshore accounts and all the rest.

If your job is to leaven ordinary lives with elevating spectacle, be elevating or be gone.

The reformers' preferred metaphor is "leveling the playing field." They should listen to the logic of their language: fields are leveled by bulldozers.

For as long as I can remember the slogan has been ... the federal government ought to behave more like families, because families balance their budgets. It turns out that families looked around and said, "You know what? Let's behave more like the government!"

It is no longer enough to be lusty. One must be a sexual gourmet.