A long while ago an eager group of reformers wrote to me asking if I could suggest anything that would improve the morals of the American people. I replied that the trouble with the American people in general was not lack of morals but lack of brains.

In times of panic man seems to exchange his soul for a tail.

I have come to the conclusion that the modern interpretation of the Declaration of Independence is something like this: I am as good as those that think themselves better and a long sight better than those who only think themselves as good.

Men are not amusing during the shooting season; but, after all, my dear, men were not especially designed to amuse women.

Never trust a woman who will not lie about her age after thirty. She is unwomanly and unhuman and there is no knowing what crimes she will commit.

there is no greater fraud or bore than the writer who has acquired the art of saying nothing brilliantly.

All women want to be understood until they understand themselves.