The miser is the man who starves himself and everybody else, in order to worship wealth in its dead form, as distinct from its living form.

'My country, right or wrong' is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying 'My mother, drunk or sober.'

Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honour should decline.

Truths turn into dogmas the minute they are disputed.

Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

When once you have got hold of a vulgar joke, you may be certain that you have got hold of a subtle and spiritual idea.

Like every book I never wrote, it is by far the best book I have ever written.