Contemporary society has become dry, not for lack of wonders but for lack of wonder.

A businessman is the only man who is forever apologizing for his occupation.

It is unpardonable conceit not to laugh at your own jokes. Joking is undignified; that is why it is so good for one's soul. Do not fancy you can be a detached wit and avoid being a buffoon; you cannot. If you are the Court Jester you must be the Court Fool.

Do not enjoy yourself. Enjoy dances and theaters and joy-rides and champagne and oysters; enjoy jazz and cocktails and night-clubs if you can enjoy nothing better; enjoy bigamy and burglary and any crime in the calendar, in preference to the other alternative; but never learn to enjoy yourself.

To be simple is the best thing in the world.

If you do not understand a man you cannot crush him. And if you do understand him, very probably you will not.

They say travel broadens the mind, but you must have the mind.