The hands that had made the sun and stars were too small to reach the huge heads of the cattle. Upon this paradox, we might almost say upon this jest, all the literature of our faith is founded.

There should be a burnished tablet let into the ground on the spot where some courageous man first ate Stilton cheese, and survived.

Tolerance is the virtue of those who don't believe anything.

Wherever there is animal worship, there is human sacrifice.

Though the academic authorities are actually proud of conducting everything by means of Examinations, they seldom indulge in what religious people used to descibe as Self-Examination. The consequence is that the modern State has educated its citizens in a series of ephemeral fads.

I believe your own accent is inimitable, though I shall practice it in my bath.

People seem to fight about things very unsuitable for fighting. They make a frightful noise in support of very quiet things. They knock each other about in the name of very fragile things.