Youth is always too serious, and just now it is too serious about frivolity.

Most Americans are born drunk, and really require a little wine or beer to sober them.

A good joke is the closest thing we have to divine revelation.

I agree with the realistic Irishman who said he preferred to prophesy after the event.

To be simple is the best thing in the world; to be modest is the next best thing. I am not sure about being quiet.

It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.

I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.