Not only does "orthodox" no longer mean being right, it practically means being wrong.

There cannot be a nation of millionaires, and there never has been a nation of Utopian comrades; but there have been any number of nations of tolerably contented peasants.

Science in the modern world has many uses; its chief use, however, is to provide long words to cover the errors of the rich.

One of the chief uses of religion is that it makes us remember our coming from darkness, the simple fact that we are created.

All my authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.

If you happen to read fairy tales, you will observe that one idea runs from one end of them to the other--the idea that peace and happiness can only exist on some condition. This idea, which is the core of ethics, is the core of the nursery-tales.

It is unpardonable conceit not to laugh at your own jokes. Joking is undignified; that is why it is so good for one's soul. Do not fancy you can be a detached wit and avoid being a buffoon; you cannot. If you are the Court Jester you must be the Court Fool.