I say that a man must be certain of his morality for the simple reason that he has to suffer for it.

The Museum is not meant either for the wanderer to see by accident or for the pilgrim to see with awe. It is meant for the mere slave of a routine of self- education to stuff himself with every sort of incongruous intellectual food in one indigestible meal.

The chief object of education is not to learn things but to unlearn things.

A good joke is the closest thing we have to divine revelation.

I would not say that old men grow wise, for men never grow wise; and many old men retain a very attractive childishness and cheerful innocence. Elderly people are often much more romantic than younger people, and sometimes even more adventurous, having begun to realize how many things they do not know.

The only people who seem to have nothing to do with the education of the children are the parents.

A businessman is the only man who is forever apologizing for his occupation.