A detective story generally describes six living men discussing how it is that a man is dead. A modern philosophic story generally describes six dead men discussing how any man can possibly be alive.

Most Americans are born drunk, and really require a little wine or beer to sober them.

There cannot be a nation of millionaires, and there never has been a nation of Utopian comrades; but there have been any number of nations of tolerably contented peasants.

I have no right to think for myself. I have no right to think at all.

Adventure is the champagne of life.

My life is passed in making bad jokes and seeing them turn into true prophecies.

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.