Is ditchwater dull? Naturalists with microscopes have told me that it teems with quiet fun.

Even in an empire of atheists the dead man is always sacred.

A good joke is the closest thing we have to divine revelation.

Leisure is being allowed to do nothing.

Happiness is not only a hope, but also in some strange manner a memory ... we are all kings in exile.

The whole point of the Eugenic pseudo-scientific theories is that they are to be applied wholesale, by some more sweeping and generalizing money power than the individual husband or wife or household. Eugenics asserts that all men must be so stupid that they cannot manage their own affairs; and also so clever that they can manage each other's.

Now it has appeared to me unfair that humanity should be engaged perpetually in calling all those things bad which have been good enough to make other things better, in everlastingly kicking down the ladder by which it has climbed. It has appeared to me that progress should be something else besides a continual parricide; therefore I have investigated the dust-heaps of humanity, and found a treasure in all of them. I have found that humanity is not incidentally engaged, but eternally and systematically engaged, in throwing gold into the gutter and diamonds into the sea.